What Do I Say Now?

I communicate for a living.  That's a scary thought given some of the things that come out of my mouth.  My wife, who is a speech therapist, catches me sometimes when I say something stupid.  She then makes her eyes go different directions, twists her lips sideways, and pokes fun at me by saying, "I am a communications professional!" 

In 16 years of ministry, 4 years at the church in Sanford I currently serve, I have noted how dog-gone hard communicating is.  I want to vary your literary diet here on my blog, so today I am giving you one of my poems about the challenges of communicating.  It came to me during a "discussion" I was having with my wife one evening.  I was having trouble expressing myself so I stepped away, gave myself a time-out, and this came to me.  Enjoy it! 

What Do I Say Now?

There are things I want you to know,

But I cannot speak them, only feel them.

Words don't adhere well to these emotions.

Like weak magnets slide off the fridge they go,

Unable to define the margins that make

Reason useful to feelings.

So my tongue flops like a dying fish,

Making a slimy, bloody mess on the floor,

Where we stand together for now.

I don't know what to say.

I dont' know how to say it.

I feel deeply but don't know what, why, or how.

So I look away, lost in the deeper pools of myself,

Away from you and the mess I have made.

Hopefully, if I swim for a while here,

Breathing fully in the water,

I will revive and understand

How all I've done and been and felt

Tell me what I'm missing

And where I do and do not want to go.

Then I may return to you

With feelings that have grown the handles of words,

With hope of making peace,

You knowing me fully,

Me, empty, but full of you.

Cameron Lashbrook January 2, 2010

This week's sermon will be about a man named Jeremiah who was a master communicator.  This week he communicates about having faith in spite of circumstances.  You can keep up with Lakeside Fellowship United Methodist Church on Facebook as well!

Joy on the journey!